A Weather Report: The Banality of April

Spring has invaded the Missoula valley. Life is everywhere as the leaves pop from their buds on the tree branches. They offer a source of food for the wild life that roams throughout the city. Just the other day, I passed a herd of deer gorging themselves on the campus bushes. Everywhere I look, the cycle begins again. As I gaze into the mountains, I see the retreating snow line. On warm and sunny days such as today, the pink light of twilight reflects off of the snow fields on Lolo Peak to the southwest and Stuart Peak to the north. In those moments, the snow looks as if it is ablaze with the power of the day's waning sun.

Winter is in its death throes. Yes, spring pours its abundant wealth and life liberally upon the earth!

A Weather Report: Spring

I went outside and enjoyed the warmer temperatures today. It has been far too long since I did any trail running. My winter routine has kept me confined to an indoor track on campus. Like a caged animal, I would circle around and around, back and forth. I waited and watched the sky for the tell-tale signs of spring and the time when I could break loose from the indoor cage.

Slowly, the earth comes back to life after a cold winter.

I first knew spring was coming about a week ago. The day was cold and snowy. But, as I rode my bike home in the late afternoon hours, the clouds began to break in the west. I peddled through a heavy snow squall, and I watched as the sun broke free from the February sleet. I gazed in awe as its radiant face slipped behind Lolo Peak to the west of Missoula. This was my first glimpse of the sun since early February. It changed everything. Despite the falling snows and cold wind, the birds began to sing. At first it was only one voice. But soon an entire choir joined the lone soloist. It reminded me of how the birds would sing after a summer rain storm. At that moment, I knew the world was coming back to life. The seasons will change, and barrenness is always overshadowed by new life.

I was thinking about those birds as I ran down the trail today. The temperature has warmed considerably since that snowy afternoon just over a week ago. As I ran, the signs of spring seemed to be everywhere. Even the air smelled of rebirth and life. The wonders were stimulating, and I was so consumed by the sights, sounds, and smells, that I forgot to watch the ground in front of me. Only a quick hop made me avoid a rather large and nasty pile of animal droppings.

I turned to have a closer look at the pile before continuing on my way. I instantly recognized the droppings as those of a bear. They were fairly fresh. I guess this means that our furry friends are beginning to stir from hibernation. It won't be long until I see black bears wandering through the streets and yards of Missoula's outlying areas. (Which is something I've found as an intriguing, albeit sad, juxtaposition between their world and mine, but that's another story...)

The temperature warms. The birds sing. The bears go about their normal routines. The world is awakening with precious and fragile life. Creation begins again. If you look closely, if you listen hard enough, you will see the world rub its eyes and yawn. And, if you are very lucky, perhaps you will even see the face of God.

Voices...

“I am afraid, but I still pursue my quest. The further I go, the less I understand. Perhaps there is nothing to understand.”¹

“Answers: I say there are none...Answers only intensify the question: ideas and words must finally come up against a wall higher than the sky, a wall of human bodies extending to infinity.”²

If He wanted me to be dust, why hasn’t He left me as dust? But I’m not dust. I’m standing up, I’m walking, thinking, wondering, shouting: I’m human!”³

“I want to know why human beings turn into beasts...I want to know how good family men can slaughter children and crush old people.”⁴

“Trapp asked the men not to talk about it, but they needed no encouragement in that direction. Those who had not been in the forest did not want to learn more. Those who had been there likewise had no desire to speak, either then or later...At Józefow a mere dozen men out of nearly 500 had responded instinctively to Major Trapp’s offer to step forward and excuse themselves from the impending mass murder. Why was the number of men who from the beginning declared themselves unwilling to shoot so small?...The battalion had orders to kill Jews, but each individual did not...To break ranks and step out, to adopt overtly nonconformist behavior, was simply beyond most of the men. It was easier to shoot...The reserve policemen faced choices, and most of them committed terrible deeds. But those who killed cannot be absolved by the notion that anyone in the same situation would have done as they did. For even among them, some refused to kill and other stopped killing. Human responsibility is ultimately an individual matter.”⁵

“I distrust miracles. They exist only in books. And books say anything.”⁶

“Any hope must be sober, and built on the sands of despair, free from illusions.”⁷

"Let us offer, then, as a working principle the following: No statement, theological or otherwise, should be made that would not be credible in the presence of the burning children.”⁸

“I stand in awe before the memory of the k’doshim who walked into the gas chambers with the Ani Ma’amin –– I believe! –– on their lips. How dare I question, if they did not question! I believe, because they believed.”⁹

“Tell me: Where is God in all this?”¹⁰

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1 Elie Wisel, “A Plea for the Dead.”
2 Ibid.
3 “Berish the Innkeeper,” Elie Wiesel, The Trail of God.
4 Ibid.
5 Christopher R. Browning, Ordinary Men: Reserve Police Battalion 101 and the Final Solution in Poland.
6 “Berish the Innkeeper,” Elie Wiesel, The Trial of God.
7 Irving Greenbeerg, “Cloud of Fire, Pillar of Smoke.”
8 Ibid.
9 Eliezer Berkovits, “Faith After the Holocaust.”
10 “Mendel,” Elie Wiesel, The Trial of God.